Well sleep came easy tonight with Aimee in my arms, one dog between my feet, and another squished long my side, as we’ve done almost every night we are together for the last 11 years. Unfortunately for me it also left quickly, courtesy of all the drugs, steroids, and fluids. Not an unexpected side effect but a bummer for sure. If you are reading this I’m not sure why you’re awake but you need your beauty sleep….trust me 🙂

Anyway, before I go into what’s been on my mind tonight I wanted to share that moving forward I am going to start sharing the side effects and the impact of those from my treatment. I won’t give a play by play but will share as they arise, advance, and recede. Now here’s the fine print. I’m not going to sugar coat it. I won’t be unnecessarily graphic about it but this blog, journal, guide, or whatever you want to call it is about recording the impact of Cancer for ME with a hope that it brings an authentic perspective of one persons journey, and maybe there is something in there for each of you that helps you live your best lives, even if it’s just a little. That said, if you find detail, emotion, maybe some four-letter langue offensive I apologize in advance (less George Carlin and more PG-13 I believe) So today’s symptoms :
– Light to moderate dizziness
– Moderate indigestion
– Lack of interest in eating dinner (but I did it)
– Severe migraine
– Light muscle soreness
– Light fatigue (most likely due to the long day)
– Insomnia

Cleary shits about to start getting real.

So what’s on my mind. Over the last three weeks I have had the opportunity to connect with three friends, all from different circles of my life, and all in very different life stages. Each one of them is going through their own emotional and physical journey right now as well. My relationship history varies widely between the three but I have found some great commonalities in each. I won’t share the details of their journeys as that is their story to tell but I will summarize the consistency across all of them including my own (and likely yours as well).

Our pasts are a collection of roads filled with twists and turns, some of which we chose, many more of which were chosen for us. Both nature and nurture helped define some of those outcomes for both better or worse, all of which have lead us to this precise moment. Not yesterday, not tomorrow, but exactly right now. Unlike our past, our future is not fully written. We still have roads to choose, like where are we going to go on vacation, how do I grow my business, which doctor do I chose, but many are chosen for us much like my Cancer diagnosis was. Just because we don’t always have the ability to select the path, we aren’t left without control.

My three friends and my stories are still incomplete, some have a bit more to write while others maybe a bit less, but nonetheless unfinished. And so are all of yours. The future doesn’t control you, you control it. That said I’d be blind to not recognize that there won’t be some unexpected, and even unwanted, twists along they way but you are still behind the wheel. You get to chose how you drive those roads. Will you do it cautiously? Will you do it with wild abandon? Or will you calculate your risk? Will you do it with confidence? Will you do it with fear? Will you do it alone or let people in? Will you do it with humor or be serious? Will you do it with anger or gratitude? The choice is yours.

My three friends and myself have all chosen a similar path. We are going to drive the road in front of us with confidence, with friends & family, and gratitude. I am grateful for each of them and proud to be on their journey with them and them with me. I am honored to call them friends.

Well thats it….oh and new symptom while typing this….nausea, great!

Anyway, today is going to be a great day! I hope you make yours one too.